by Ekie
We’re selling our house. On the realtor’s sheet it asks if the house is handicapped-accessible. Well, technically, no. But also, technically, yes. Because it is perfectly accessible and modified for one particular person’s disability – mine. There are no noisy lights, there are lots of comfy couches, there are earplugs available for when it is not quiet, which it usually is, and there are no noxious smells.
It occurs to me, however, that true accessibility means not just the letter of the law. It means accomodating everybody, and everybody is different in their own way. We all have different needs and wants, and we all have different definitions of accessible.
So, for this May 1st, a list of What Really Accessible Means To Me. Also, Fantastical Access Dreams
- no noisy lights.
- no lights that flicker on and off really fast (why is it so hard to make a lightbulb be both autism-friendly and environmental-friendly? I don’t know.)
- no noisy heating systems. or electrical systems. no alarms that go off unexpectedly.
- no smoking anywhere, ever. saves the planet, saves lives, saves my sanity all at once.
- no b.o. I know it’s natural and I ought to get used to it, but hey, this is my fantasy, not real life.
- no perfumes or colognes
- no people who stare and stare instead of just asking
- nobody uses the word retard, ever
- public bathrooms where they have adult-sized changing tables at waist level.
- playgrounds with rubber surfacing instead of woodchips
- 24-hour notice on everything – from big disasters to minor inconveniences
- jobs that are based on how hard you work and how much you get done, instead of how many hours you show up there
- vegetables that taste decently to my particular palate
- public playgrounds for adults (I love fantasies. in my fantasy, these playgrounds have big trampolines.)
- handicapped swings in parks that actually have the straps on them
- paint that doesn’t smell
Okay, so, yeah. Never gonna happen. But maybe, just maybe, if we get to the point where ramps and Braille are seen as a matter of course, not a matter to fight over, we’d also get to the point where when I complain about those stupid flourescents, people actually take me seriously instead of just brushing me off.
And hey – what’s wrong with dreaming?
(8:32 pm. Thursday.)
6 Comments
2 May, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Dreaming helps people move on. So often, when I talk to people with disabilities, my only advice is that start dreaming. Have dreams which do not seem realistic today in this world, but are realistic to you. One day you will find yourself achieving them.
2 May, 2009 at 5:40 pm
With you on the trampolines thing. Can we have some big climbing frames too?
3 May, 2009 at 10:27 am
oh, I am SO with you on this. As in, we moved out of our house on Thursday, and I am in limbo while we make the new house ‘me-accessible’. No odor/low odor paint, ramps at the front and back doors, taking the radiator out of the bathroom so my wheelchair can fit through the door – and on and on. One of the hardest challenges in finding a new house was that there were no accessibility type listings, and the realtors we talked to were all clueless… it made the house search about 10 times harder than it needed to be. (As does adding in the cost to make the house ‘me-accessible’ to the price of the house… it certainly took a lot of houses out of the running.)
Anyways: excellent post!
7 May, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Your post appeals to me.
We have a home which, slowly, we have adapted to suit our needs.
I am “apparently” brain injured and physically limited in standing ability, so need things in the same place all the time.
“If you were that Brain Injured youy’d have a paid caregiver and all that!” Latest systematic statement
Other half is very short and quite Deaf.
We have (rather than bother with complicated paper work and applications and probably being turned down (or have some brightspark provide an extremely expensive something that wont work for us) done all the work ourselves or with the help of some incredible people and companies and no doubt saved a veritable fortune which we never had and of course paperwork.
Usually involves providing feedback on how their product works for us.
This of course means breaking a few “Rules” and probably doing things which I in particular am branded as being unable to do and by doing must be acting fraudulently.
Just do not distract me when blades are spinning!
If people knew just how much I manage to get done, slowly and at waist height in my workshop
A small delight in doing this is that if something, such as a Bench unit doesn’t work.
Being made up in cube shapes we simply make another and they are mostly on castors! (Small things help.) pull out cleaning
I often wonder what will happen if we ever decide to sell, who would want such a modified house, workshop and studio even if the end result is very modern easily used design worse still would the potentail buyer complain about “Cowboy” modifications.
Oh well we simply won’t ever sell.
7 May, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Another small note. My Brother just came home ona train, says he now udnerstands about me saying that Train Travel is a no no for me.
Did it once as the train approaches every station on the way home Ladies (And probably men) pull out the spray on anti stink and liberally fill the carriage.
He was luckier, a Lady painted her nails nearby just as well he never worked with sensitising agents
30 May, 2009 at 4:45 am
I’m not sure how much your realtor would love reading this list, but disability or no, I think we’d all love to find each and every vegetable perfectly suited to our palates!
I like to joke about my disabilities and my disability needs, too – but I do so in comic form. You might be interested in checking out the comic I write about my life with chronic illness. You can find it at http://acomiclifeindeed.wordpress.com
Hope you’re having a good day and good luck with the move!
- Miss Waxie