If I had a dollar for every time we’ve heard that question from a complete stranger …
Unfortunately it’s so often the first words – after some serious staring – when people see a child in a wheelchair or using a walking frame.
I’m pleased to say many people – like rollercoasterparenting – give the “correct” response:
Some of us with older kids have grown rather tired of this question, which we have heard maybe 1000 times.
Very occasionally (well no more than twice a week) we may become a little too loquacious in our response to an impolite, curious stranger:
“Why – is there something wrong with you that you want to tell me about?”
The stranger looks perplexed, mildly shocked.
“You don’t want to tell me about any of your medical conditions?”
Looking very shocked now, vigorous head shaking, sometimes accompanied by the slow dawn of realisation that they have asked a really intrusive, rude question of an adult they don’t know about a child who is sitting right in front of them.
It’s just words, I know, but words are important.
For the record – there’s nothing wrong with him. In fact, I think he’s perfect. He’s a regular annoying, noisy teenage boy with robust good health and poor taste in jokes who uses a wheelchair to get around because that’s easier and faster than walking with the help of a walking frame.
But I don’t discuss my family’s medical conditions in public with complete strangers. Do you?
So the next time you are curious, that’s fine, but think before you speak. And if you ask me about my kid’s medical condition, I’m likely to ask you about yours. In detail. In public.